Life's Wake Up Calls: How breaking my neck became one of the things I am most grateful for!

Sometimes, life's sneaky wake up calls can be the greatest gifts!

I would go out weekly with a bike group in rural NJ to help with my triathlon training. Every Wednesday evening, I would arrange for a sitter to watch my kids before my husband got home from work so I could go on these 50 mile rides, followed by a social gathering with some pizza and beer. It was a beautiful summer evening, but little did I know it would be two months before I would return home.

July 24, 2002. My sneaky wake up call came in the form of a traumatic bike accident that resulted in a spinal cord injury, breaking my cervical spine at C5, C6 and C7, a collapsed lung, broken scapula & clavicle, and many broken ribs. I was living my life, happily married, and a stay-at-home mom to our three kids, Bridget, age 9, Luke, age 7, and Hally, age 4. And then BAM!!

My last thought before I crashed at 35 miles an hour was, "Oh shit, I'm going down!" What happened next is a blur as I was unconscious for a period of time. I woke up with someone holding my head in place, a feeling of pins and needles throughout my body, and the inability to move my arms or legs. I was so fortunate because the group I was with had a college-age kid, Adam, who was a trained EMT. He knew to have someone keep my head stable as they tried to get cell service in rural Pottersville, NJ to call for an ambulance.

I was taken to Morristown Hospital where I underwent a spinal fusion from C4 ot C7 from the back of my neck. It was done this way because I had a pinched vertebral artery that could cause a stroke if they operated from the front. My neurosurgeon called me "a walking miracle" because based on what happened, he felt I should have been paralyzed. "There but by the grace of God..." My first week was spent in ICU with a morphine pump that I was unable to use myself because I had no movement in my arms and hands. My family stayed at my side to hit the pump for pain relief. I would then proceed to Kessler in West Orange and be under the care of the same doctor Christopher Reeve had, Dr. Steven Kirschblum. He is one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met; such a caring, loving person who I was so fortunate to have as my doctor. He would often stop to see me to say hi and would ask, "Tara, would you like a glass of water?" Amazing!! Outside of another one week stint in the hospital to get a chest tube put in for a collapsed lung, I would spend the next month and a half at Kessler. I had daily PT and OT to relearn how to walk and to begin to gain function back in my upper body. Other than my therapy time, I was either in bed or in a wheelchair for these two months. One of my sisters would come daily to put my hair in a ponytail (my husband could not figure out how to do this! Lol!) and feed me breakfast as it took four months to regain use of my arms. And I would spend the next 6 months in a brace from my neck to my waist to immobilize my neck and back.

It was a surreal feeling to come home. It was two months later, on a Wednesday night around 6pm, the exact same time and day of the week as my accident. As a stay-at-home mom to Bridget, Luke, and Hally, it was really tough not being able to take care of them. My husband, Tim, suffured far worse than I did in this whole ordeal. He was juggling running his own company, caring for our 3 kids, keeping everyone informed of my status, and grappling with the trauma of almost losing his partner and wife. I was extremely fortunate to have him and amazing family and friends helping us nonstop. I had countless angels in my presence, in the forms of all of these beautiful people!!

We hired a wonderful woman to work full time at our house, taking care of me and the kids, and keeping up with household chores. Meals were brought over most nights of the week made by neighbors and friends, and rides to physical therapy for me and to school for the kids were arranged. This went on for 6 months until I was finally able to take care of myself and the kids, and I could once again drive. I would continue going to PT three times a week for the next two years. I also tried many different healing modalities including neuromuscular therapy, body rolling, craniosacral therapy, chiropractic and eventually yoga. Sixteen years later I still marvel how I continue to improve and get stronger!!

This may all sound pretty overwhelming and awful, but in so many ways it was one of the GREATEST GIFTS of my life. This is because, for the first time in my life, I wasn't worrying about things that really didn't matter...things of little significance. Coming from a place of near-death yet surviving filled me with GRATITUDE for life and APPRECIATION for resilience of the human body, mind and spirit. My surgeon called me "a walking miracle", I was ALIVE, and anything beyond that would be icing on the cake!

And I also experienced many MIRACLES on my journey. One came in the form of a woman named Pam. For me, the lowest point of my recovery was when I had to go back to the hospital from rehab for a week due to a collapsed lung. I had a chest tube put in, which was leaking, and I was in a lot of pain. My mom and sister were sitting with me in my hospital room when a woman came in wearing hospital scrubs with piercing blue eyes. She came up to me, introduced herself as Pam and took my hand and said, "God saved you for a reason. One day you will know what that reason is. Faith is the substance of all things. Hope for the evidence of things unseen". She then left the room and the three of us looked at each other in awe, with tears coming down our faces. When my nurse came in, I asked her who Pam was. She had never heard of a Pam working on the floor. Pam was my one of my many angels. Her words have stayed with me every day for all of these years.

My reason for sharing this story is to inspire others struggling with challenges. You are not ALONE! There is often a deeper truth in dealing with traumatic events. This traumatic healing can lead to amazing growth, change and opportunity. There is so much truth to the saying, "Make your mess your message!". I feel so blessed to have gone through what I did because it gave me clarity on what is truly important in life, and it has lead me to helping others heal themselves.